Department of Ironman Redundancy Department

There's been a good amount on grumblings over the past few years especially in regards to the World Triathlon Corporation and how they conduct their business in many aspects: the current pro world championship qualifying procedure, increasing entry fees for amateurs, and a few more goodies related to minimum hotel stay at race venues, etc. Unless you're brand spanking baby new to the sport or live in a van.. Down by the river (I shot my baybeee) this shouldn't be news to you. We could talk all day long about how many pros should get to race in Kona, qualifying procedure, etc, but an opinion is an opinion so what would that solve?

What I want to whine about / mention is the occurrences where someone has the desire to sign up for an "official" Ironman event (also known as the Evil Money Grubbing Multisport, Inc), logs onto active.com (also known as Scumbag Third Party Vultures Who Make Money For Doing Nothing, Inc), nervously fills out the info sheets while simultaneous posting messages on triathlon board on how slow the process is, how the screen is taking forever to load, and how his/her diaper needs to be changed, gets to the payment total screen, sees dollar total, enters credit card info onto screen and is fortunate to complete desired transaction.

What can occur after this successful transaction is something that I don't understand: the purchaser then mentions to any/all who will listen how outrageous the price for said event is. I try to grasp the logic but it eludes me: (1) you desire to purchase a product knowing all relevant information. (2) You end up successfully purchasing desired product. (3) Before even having used or having any experience with the product you are unhappy. I can't think of any other market transaction where this takes place nor can I think of any purchase where I immediately complained that the price was too high. Think of a different scenario: You walk into Target-mart and know exactly what lamp you want to purchase. Many other people are looking for the same lamp and you know there will be a limited supply. You end up getting the lamp and as you exit the doors of Target-mart you then begin to loudly proclaim to each passerby how Target-mart ripped you off and how next year you'll being going to a smaller, more grassroots lamp store for all of your lamp needs but in the end you end up going to Target-mart for all your appliance needs and even consider a Target-mart tattoo as proof of your epic battles with strangers for all the best bargains in town.

There's also the other would-be purchaser side that is vocally disappointed in not having had an honest chance in purchasing an Ironman entry slot from Evil Money Grubbing Multisport, Inc. This segment of the compressed crowd feels that the system is rigged, they got screwed again and that the entry process should change to something "more fair". So, this group knows the process beforehand, the spatial limitations of the race venue as well as a guaranteed method for race entry (that is: on site sign up) and still is not satisfied. Sooooooo... This group is not happy because they could NOT sign up online and feels cheated. Anyone else confused?

A way to allow more folks into the race is to expand the field size but many claim this raises the safety risk as well as probability of drafting so cross this option off the list. Others claim that the fields should actually be reduced for these exact factors. But won't this make it even more difficult to enter the event?

Of course, if there was an easy answer to all this it'd already be in place. What I think is this: Ironman is a for-profit company (owned by venture capitalists no less). They are in the business to provide a product that people want at a rate people will pay that will keep people coming back year after year - it's not rocket science. They really don't give two craps about your particular circumstances for entry, how you broke your pinky toe and would like your money refunded, etc. BIZZ-ness - pure and simple and when people really comprehend this they'll have a better grasp of the Ironman product and will probably get more out of the experience.

Completing an ironman is a very personal, rewarding experience. Over- thinking the entry process and what the events bring to our life is a bit self-centered. I hear people mention long distance racing like its some sort of religious experience that made them a better person. When I hear this I wonder what depths of character and life quality this person possessed before completing the 140 mile plus journey? Also, what if sport was suddenly taken away? Do you have enough of a well rounded life approach to not wonder "what do I do now"?

I mention these things not as a slam for those who enjoy the life experience of long distance racing - quite the opposite since I've been doing this stuff for many years and I'm happy enough to say I crossed the line at eleven of them if memory serves. I think a greater longterm appreciation for the event is had when it's not the be all/end all of our existence over a prolonged period of time. I've seen many use LD racing as an avoidance tool for something bad in their life or as a deep coping measure for psychological issues and I think the experience deserves a bit more than that. No doubt, training can be quite consuming, especially for the weekends, but when training is done do you think your family and friends really want a mile by mile recap of how you felt, how many watts you generated and how many dumps you took during the session? Please spare them - they don't care but will pretend they do because by nature that's who they are.

So when you finally get that highly desired race entry secured into that Ironman that has eluded you, train hard, rest well, end the race with nothing in the tank and with no regrets no matter the outcome. If you do end up performing under your expectations that's okay too because Evil Money Grubbing Target-mart, Inc, will create another race for you.. To get shut out of.

And the cycle continues. Enjoy the steak ladies and germs.

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